They funded research that led to new scientific breakthroughs to make little girls age faster to qualify for the gymnastics team.
They told a little girl she was too fugly to show her face at the opening ceremonies.
They faked the fireworks.
They brought in their own spectators and cheering squads by the bus loads.
They invented the only grand piano in the world that's light enough to stand on an LCD screen.
Through revolutionary DNA sequencing techniques, they turned Han Chinese kids into other ethnic minorities.
And now, finally, it has been revealed. Even Dan Brown will shudder at the biggest con of all-- the Bird's Nest is not real!
It is made all out of Lego.
Through digital editing and masterful cinematographic techniques (and a highly effective system of brainwashing...), the whole 2008 "Olympics" has been fabricated.
With deception at such a grand scale, who cares about freedom of speech, the right to protest, pollution and unrestricted Internet access in China?
Well, as long as it looks as real as a knock-off Prada bag.
This all reminds me of that scene in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, when Dr. Evil talks about the putting a "laser" on the moon, turning it into a "Death Star" and makes that finger curling motion to signify "quotes".
I think we should all start doing that every time we talk about the "Olympics".
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