Hong Kong Barcamp 2008

This will be my first barcamp ever! See you all on Saturday, 6 September.

2008: The Year of the Beijing "Olympics" (with apologies to Dr. Evil)

Here is a recap of this year's "Olympics". Yes, those are quotation marks.

They funded research that led to new scientific breakthroughs to make little girls age faster to qualify for the gymnastics team.



They told a little girl she was too fugly to show her face at the opening ceremonies.



They faked the fireworks.



They brought in their own spectators and cheering squads by the bus loads.



They invented the only grand piano in the world that's light enough to stand on an LCD screen.



Through revolutionary DNA sequencing techniques, they turned Han Chinese kids into other ethnic minorities.



And now, finally, it has been revealed. Even Dan Brown will shudder at the biggest con of all-- the Bird's Nest is not real!



It is made all out of Lego.





Through digital editing and masterful cinematographic techniques (and a highly effective system of brainwashing...), the whole 2008 "Olympics" has been fabricated.

With deception at such a grand scale, who cares about freedom of speech, the right to protest, pollution and unrestricted Internet access in China?

Well, as long as it looks as real as a knock-off Prada bag.

This all reminds me of that scene in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, when Dr. Evil talks about the putting a "laser" on the moon, turning it into a "Death Star" and makes that finger curling motion to signify "quotes".

I think we should all start doing that every time we talk about the "Olympics".

Blue Screen of Olympic Death

Since I am, undoubtedly, a geek, here is a geeky way of poking fun at the already embarassing controversy-ridden opening ceremonies.

The Blue Screen of Death, signifying a fatal computer error, was projected onto the roof of the National Stadium during the grand finale to the four-hour spectacular as veteran Chinese gymnast Li Ning, suspended 70 metres above the stadium floor, "jogged" towards the Olympic torch.

More of the same pics at Gizmodo, and all taken from different angles from different cameras, making it very likely that this was, contrary to the spirit of this Olympics, not faked.

Ok, so China, maybe it's time to press Ctrl-Alt-Del, reboot and change the party in power install a new operating system.

Just a thought...

Blog Action Day 08

October 15, 2008. Blog Action Day is here again this year. This time, it's about poverty.



Blog Action Day 2008 Poverty from Blog Action Day on Vimeo.

Masked Cyclists Apologize to Chinese Officials - NYTimes.com

It constantly baffles me how prominent (or in some cases, obscure) figures can make public apologies without actually owning up to anything. A long while back, we had Edison Chen apologizing to no one in particular for doing nothing in particular, except maybe possibly, within the realm of probability, hurting people's feelings.

Now, four American cyclists issued a formal apology to Chinese officials for wearing anti-pollution masks when they arrived at the airport. From the
NYTimes.com news article:

...insisting that they wore the masks for health reasons and did not mean to insult the host country.

...wearing the masks “was in no way meant to serve as an environmental or political statement.”

So it wasn't a political statement (Olympics is not politics!) or an environmental one (Olympics is not environment?). Ok, so that settles it. All is right again in the world. Nothing to see here. Move along now...

Seriously, how much intelligence does it take to take a look at a statement like wearing a mask for health reasons and ask the next logical question: political/environmental statement or not, the fact is that they still wore masks for health reasons. Do they think the air quality in Beijing is bad for their health?

The Olympic organizing committee has said that the air quality has improved to the extent that masks are no longer needed. Yet athletes are still bringing them. Some are even wearing them. Do they not believe Sun Weijia when he says they don't need masks? Or do they think he is talking out of his ass?

Isn't asking these questions more news-worthy than making sure the athletes understand how their actions are perceived by the host country.

It was just so I could prepare for competition in the best way I could. I hope people will understand that we meant no wrong.


But, does he think the air in Beijing is bad for his health?

I would understand someone saying something like,

We are sorry for wearing the masks. We were misinformed. We thought we needed them, but we actually don't since the air quality has improved.

Nope, but there is none of that. Instead we have,

I wore a mask because the air is polluted and is going to make me sick. I'm sorry that I offended you. BFF? (Then tack a smiley at the end) :D

Why is everyone so preoccupied with not hurting feelings rather than focusing on the important questions?

This touchy-feely world needs to watch less Oprah.

Olympic Live Sites in Hong Kong - Points to Note

Olympic Live Sites in Hong Kong - Points to Note:
1. All participants should follow the rules and regulations set by the Organiser and produce valid admission tickets when entering the Sites.

Heil!

2. For security reasons, the Organiser will inspect the personal belongings carried by any person entering the Sites.


Fair enough but what will they be looking for and how aptly trained will they be to recognize, presumably, the items specified below?

3. For public order and safety in the Sites, participants are prohibited from bringing the following items into the Sites:
* Flags, banners, slogans, leaflets, publicity materials and displays without the Organiser's prior approval;

Aha, they forgot to ban the bat signal! Oh, wait, is that a display? And no lighting the beacons of Gondor either.

* Any kind of article which can be used as a weapon or may be offensive; and

Ok, they got me there. I can't bring in a sawed-off shotgun, nerve gas, or my Basic Instinct DVDs...

* Any food, drinks, glassware or fragile articles which may pose a danger.

Will they stop me from bringing in my McNugget Meal from the Official Olympic Restaurant? Well it does contain food and drink and poses a really big danger of chronic heart disease, obesity...

4. Not to wear collectively, display or promote the trade mark appeared on the clothing and belongings intentionally for the purpose of commercial or political promotion of any kind;

What? You mean this old bald guy in orange robes on my T-Shirt is not Che Guevarra?

5. Not to conduct activities which hinder the smooth running of the Sites or other people's participation;

People will be watching the Olympic telecast on a big TV screen on their big fat asses. What activity hinders that? Ummm... exercise!

6. Not to sell or hire out any articles in the Sites or provide any articles for the purposes of selling or hiring out without authorization;

I have nothing funny for this one...

7. Not to distribute unauthorized printing materials or conduct political/commercial promotion;

So you will have to spell them T1bet, Ta1wan, Burm@ and D@rfur? Oh and my personal favorite, F@lun G0ng.

8. Not to perform any acts which will disturb the order of the Sites;

I'm having a problem with all these broad and sweeping regulations. Standing still or producing anti-bodies could fall under this.

9. Not to record, take photo or video-shoot programmes conducted at the Sites without authorization or done for non-private purpose.

But Mommy, I want a picture with that tank rolling over those silly people!

10. The operating hours of the Sites may change due to weather conditions. Please take note of the public announcement.

Because Hong Kong does not get the same weather control budget as Beijing...

11. Please go to the Sites by means of public transport as far as possible.

Well, I actually agree. Hong Kong public transport is one of the best in the world!